Encounter of a FIFTH kind.

It was then that the woolly mammoth creature spotted me. I could tell by the evil look in its' eyes ... it was thinking dinner ... I was thinking ... should have bought better running shoes.
I knew I could outrun it, cause it ran like a girl. But there was something holding me back, slowing my progress; as if caught in a night terror dream. Peering down, I discovered the trail covered in molasses. I have not escaped, but merely been driven into her trap ... and "seasoned".

As it approached, I quickly when through the 5 stages; arriving at acceptance in mere seconds. My only hope was that it would be a quick death and pondered how I could achieve it. Random thoughts and a moment of clarity offered the ultimate, no-fail solution.

How could I pi$$ off a female creature to ensure a quick death? With sureness of thought and a surprisingly "aren't I clever" look... I faced the creature and uttered these words ...

Ya didn't PAY for that haircut, did ya?